After the other day’s rant, I thought I might devote some time to being grateful—to adjust the karmic balance. I’m not going to apologize for ranting—the pounding continued all day, until we finally fled at 6:30 to go to a movie. However, I am exceedingly grateful for my lovely back yard, having a home to live in, and a good job that enables this lifestyle. I’m grateful for my health and for my family, for my sweetie and for her putting up with me lo these twelve years.
Lately, I’ve been most grateful for my children: for the opportunity to be their mother, for the myriad life lessons mothering engenders, for their successes, for their struggles too. This year, 2012, is quite momentous as Anna has just graduated from college and Taylor will graduate from high school in a few weeks. Momentous too in that Taylor just turned 18 and Anna will be 22 in a couple of weeks. They are both adults now, free to make their own choices, in charge of their own destinies. I am one proud mama. As my kids embark on new life paths, I’ve been reflecting on the past, the journeys that brought us to this place, a place I didn’t think we would all get to just 16 short years ago.
In reflecting, I realize how much gratitude I have for friends and family who saw me through the most difficult years of my life; gratitude for my therapist who listened to me even when I couldn’t afford to pay her, who kept answering my middle of the night phone calls, and who insisted that someday I would get to this place, to today. I really didn’t think I would make it, but I did and so have tremendous gratitude for my parents who came through when I most needed them, for my girls who kept seeing me as their mother even when we couldn’t live together. Gratitude for Nancy, who happened upon this train wreck and dove in anyway, taking a chance and becoming my rock.